Most people have a tough time talking openly about money. I’ve heard hundreds of women tell tearful stories about being reprimanded as children for expressing their emotions and for asking about money. This then created neural barriers to exploring their money mindset. So why do we have difficulty breaking through these barriers? Shame and guilt are the sticky culprits.
As our guest, relationship coach Joy Hosey, says, “Both of these mental habits are interlopers and prohibit us from feeling fully. At some point each one of us had a strong feeling and was interrupted by some outside force.”
Perhaps this was a parent, teacher, or bully saying, “Stop crying, get over it, suck it up, you’re wrong!” Some stories are more traumatic than others, but all of us are socialized to feel degrees of shame and guilt from an early age. These both cause suffering and separation.
Do you know what provides the most relief? Revealing and sharing authentically. I’m especially satisfied after sharing when I’m met with compassion and acceptance like Joy offers. She walks her talk about being revealing. Can you imagine speaking publicly about an intimate matter, like your bankruptcy? Many people contacted our guest, after she appeared in the Money & Life documentary film. They commended her courage for sharing her transformational experience of bankruptcy.
Imagine how much human energy is bound up in hiding and deception! What if you freed yourself from those constrictions and showed more of your true colors, darks and lights?
Phew, the relief of revealing ourselves and being received with kindness! When we build compassion and empathy through conscious conversations, we naturally develop true wealth.
In intimate relationships, we often feel like our partners know us better than anyone. Why then is it so hard to talk about money with our partners? Over 80% of spouses admit to hiding purchases from each other. Shame and guilt shut people down and cause disconnection. Revealing and being vulnerable is key to intimacy, connection, and financial improvement.
I know it’s uncomfortable to turn the mirror within. But introspection is essential to shifting our mindset, beliefs, and behaviors. When we avoid honest self-reflection, the suffering is enormous. When we rush from one distraction to another, we are disconnected from our innate brilliance. Our attention is perhaps our greatest currency, so invest it wisely.
This is why Joy and I both support people in working through deeply embedded beliefs that are at the root of much suffering. Listen in for inspiration on how to direct your affection and appreciation for greater satisfaction and prosperity. What Joy shares is very accessible and profound. You will appreciate Joy’s authentic courage and ability to demystify shame and guilt.
Joy Hosey is a relationship guide and coach who has supported hundreds of people in shifting from a path of survival to thrival in many areas of their lives, including money. She supports clients in clearly identifying and clearing unconscious beliefs keeping them in chronic states of struggle and offers simple practices that keep them aligned with their deeper truths. Joy believes that “once we know our true value, money ceases to be a problem.” She lives in Ashland, OR, where she works with individuals and couples, in person and by phone. She can be contacted at 541/482.8540 or visit joyhosey.com